Backwards

I am thankful for Hudson!  He's 62 days old today!

Hudson doesn't like plans.  We know this, yet Ben and I were expecting surgery to happen next week.  Well today, I found out that there is a "revised" plan for Hudson.

1. Surgery:  The doctor talked to the surgeon...surgeon said he didn't want to do Hudson's surgery until he was 3kilo (6lbs9oz) and he was off vapotherm and actually he preferred him to be on no respiratory assistance, which they are predicting to be around his due date.  Mid December surgery. Because of the past few days the surgeon just wants him to get stronger.  
2. Feeding:  The medical team said he wasn't ready for his feeds to be increased yet.  So still, 4ml per hour today (which he was getting 16ml's per hour).  They decided because they weren't increasing his feeds and it might be several days before we are back up to full feeds that they'd start TPN again.  He has an iv in his right hand, but TPN is best in a picc line.  Shortly after 2 today he got a picc line in and tpn to follow.
3. Respiratory:  The goal is to wean him.

Today's adventure:

I'm not going to lie.  Today was a rough one, even though I knew it'd be later December before we would go home.  The realization of surgery now not happening at the earliest mid December means the earliest discharge is mid January.  I had a pity party for myself, I do love the riley staff and I know Hudson is in the best care possible.  And I know that we are blessed beyond measure.  Just wasn't the news I was ready for today.  However, with that said...Hudson took it upon himself to remind me that we don't need to go anywhere too quickly!  After his picc line, which he put up a good fight, it was time for his care.  The nurse finished up getting his new iv's hooked up and then I finished up with Hudson's care.  I did his oral care, always the last thing I do.  Anywho, I stepped away from his bedside and threw that stuff away.  (and when I say I stepped away, literally maybe 2 steps)  When I turned back I saw his heart rate dropping, which isn't that unusual, but when I saw it go below 68 I looked at Hudson and well I'll spare you the details.  Every nurse and RT in the room came to his bedside and started to work on him.  Stimulating him to breathe.  Giving him more oxygen.  Talking to him.  His heart rate got as low as 53, they gave him 100% oxygen and he still wasn't coming up.  SO they increased the flow on his vapotherm.  After what seemed like minutes later, he decided to breathe again.  After that, his nnp and I talked about his lungs.  They'd learned from the xray they did from his picc line placement that his lungs weren't as inflated as they'd like to see.  So the move to a higher lpm might be just what he needs.  They'll monitor with a follow up chest xray in the morning.  If his lungs still need to be inflated, cpap might have to return to Hudson's bedside.  Keep in mind, Tuesday is eye day.  So, his eye doctor is waiting for him as he's having his "break from breathing" episode.  The eye doctor and nnp decided not to put him through any more stress today that he needed a break.  So, early am he's having his appointment.  And they cannot skip him this week because of his one eye being a zone or level 3.    Needless to say, Hudson scared the bageebers outta me!  As everyone is working on him, all I kept thinking is, how selfish of me to be pushing him when he is clearly not ready.  The nnp also reminded me that a side effect of a UTI is bradycardia (brady) and he'd had quite the stressful hour before that with his picc line.  He's just a sick little turkey!  The hour after his episode I sat by his bed and looked at him.  He slept, and slept hard.  They were able to slowly turn his oxygen down to about 30, but he is still at the higher lpm and will be for the next day or so.  He slept through his next care time, which for him he hasn't done since he was just a few weeks old.

Glossary:
Bradycardia:  A heart rate less than 100, slower than normal for an infant.
Apnea:  A pause in breathing that lasts for longer than 15-20 seconds.
lpm:  liters per minute humidified oxygen delivered through the nose.

So needless to say...after learning our new plan and then Hudson's major episode I heard "well with preemies one step forward several steps backwards"  I cannot stand that phrase!  But we've learned it is so true!

Hudson weighs 5.5 lbs today!!!!  (so for surgery he's got 1 lb 1 oz to go to meet that requirement)

This morning before everything happened, Hudson and I had a great time.  We talked and had picture time, of course every day with Mommy is a picture day!  I told him about Granny's birthday and we needed to take a special picture for her...well I'd like Granny to think he was focused on the camera...but he was more worried about what I was doing with his pacifier.  He loves that thing!

"Mommy, give me my pacifier back and you won't get hurt!" - Hudson

(One would think I'm taking this picture, but really I took Hudson's pacifier and put it next to the camera for him to look there:)  You can tell where his interest is now!)

"See, nobody got hurt!  Now leave it!" - Hudson

"One eye security for my pacifier!  It seems to disappear when I close both my eyes." - Hudson

"So, do I get any of Granny's birthday cake?" - Hudson

"I give, where's my pacifier?" - Hudson

"I just want to sleep!" - Hudson

(This was after his brady caused by apnea...you can tell a difference in his color)

As easy as it is to wish away the days to be home, I'm so thankful I have each day to learn Hudson's quirks!  He is such a turkey!  Very Blessed and Thankful.  God is still very much present and listening to our prayers!  Every day is a gift!  My new motto is to Wake up and unwrap it like it is Christmas morning!!!

Have a great day!!!!